Relationship
Skills
What is your purpose in being in a relationship?
This is the question I ask my coaching clients in response to their frustrated “Why can’t I meet the right partner?”
Those of my readers who have been coached by me will know that I like to cut to the chase and get to the heart of the matter! So I ask:
“What is the need you are trying to meet?”
“What are your options for meeting that need?”
The answers to the first question fall into three broad categories. There are those who are driven by a desire for:
- Security and fulfilment of basic human needs (food, shelter, procreation)
- Love; connection; a sense of belonging; desire to share; status
- Enlightenment and paradise…..fireworks, magic carpets and knights in shining armour (nothing less will do)
This very roughly fits into Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs (primary needs, secondary needs and tertiary needs)……once you have discovered which of these needs you are motivated by, you can start working on conscious strategies to meet those needs.
For example if you are desperate to be in a relationship because you want security, or you want to be able to afford a bigger house…get a better job….it’ll be less hassle and much cheaper than a divorce!
If you are looking for a relationship to find love…….make a list of all the people you love and all the things you love about life……how good are you at loving life?…..if your list is shockingly short, call me for assistance in ways you can love life more…..clue, love is not something you find…
And now for the third category…..those of you that are looking for a relationship that will bring you closer to nirvana…..try meditation! J Knights in shining armour? Try Warner Brothers or Walt Disney…if that doesn’t work, call me! Coaching is a RELATIONSHIP that helps you choose effective ways in which you can meet your needs and desires
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